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  • The Extroverted Introvert. Is It You?
  • Abigail Snyder
The Extroverted Introvert. Is It You?

Let's talk for a second...Okay, more like a few minutes.

We don't know about you, but it seems that until recent years there were only two sides to the personality coin. You were either an organized Type A or a laid back Type B, a garrulous extrovert or a timid introvert, and there wasn't much allowance for middle ground. Maybe that's because people are complicated and compartmentalizing was easier than analyzing every person we met; perhaps as a society we are becoming more aware of the individual. Whatever the reason, the old standbys of personality are slowly dissolving and we are finally taking the time to recognize the unique operation of others.

Because of that, we want to take some time to highlight a very special personality with throwbacks to the original coin toss but possessing a much more particular set of traits. Maybe you've heard about extroverted introverts. Perhaps you don't understand how someone could be both outgoing and introspective, but maybe, just maybe, a conflict you've always sensed inside was finally recognized and given a name.

Sometimes referred to as being an ambivert, this personality is more common than you'd think. Here are some ways you can identify if you're one of: The Loud. The Quiet. The Extroverted Introverts.

1. You're great at small talk, but you secretly hate it.


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Unless you're a mime, or spend your days alone at your hermitage in the mountains, you're going to run into small talk. "Hey, how's it going?", "How about those [insert sports team]?", and "Don't you just love this weather?" are just a few examples of questions we might be obliged to answer in any social interaction. If you're an ambivert, you're really good at this kind of chatter, but just below the social facade you feel bad because it seems canned and insincere. You'd rather not talk than have a shallow conversation, even if in a brief encounter with someone you know pretty well. 

2. Being social totally drains you (no matter how much fun you're having).

You look forward to Friday night karaoke with your friends and you're genuinely pumped to be spending an evening out, but you know that tomorrow you're going to need a day of peace and quiet to recharge. And if anything happens to postpone your needed recovery time, it will not bode well. You likely keep a journal and record your interactions and the responses you have to them (along with a myriad of other emotions) during your alone time.


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3. When a topic of interest comes up in conversation you're all over it.

Latest work out routine? On it. Obscure LOTR references? Unstoppable. Travel adventure stories? Nailed it. You love sharing the things that pique your interest and get really jazzed whenever someone can keep up with you.

4. ...But after you're done sharing you're more than happy to sit back, relax, people-watch, and let the conversation flow over you.

You learn a lot by listening and observing and it's easier for you to get a sense of where everyone is at emotionally by watching how they interact with others. Most of the time your friends describe you as being very intuitive or having a sixth sense about people.

5. An internal debate occurs every time you have to be assertive.


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You strongly dislike passive aggression, however you also hate being overbearing. This leads to an intense struggle inside whenever you know you need to lay down the law. Once you finally talk yourself into it, things usually go over flawlessly and no one is the wiser about the 15 minutes it took you to buck up. Because of that you often dwell on how you've handled situations and worry afterwards about whether you stayed consistent with your 'image'. None the less, you're looked at as a confident and outgoing person, someone others like to have on their side to be assertive for them.

 

Obviously each extroverted introvert is going to have their own unique set of personality traits just like everyone else, but we hope this guide helped you learn more about yourself or someone you know. Tell us what your personality type is in the comments below. We would LOVE to hear from you!

  • Abigail Snyder

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